I was awakened by a 2:30 phone call. It was a not-so-old flame, and he was professing his love. Mind you, we DO NOT speak anymore. We went our separate ways months ago, and there have been oceans between us ever since.
At first I thought he was just calling because he is about to come back to the States, and maybe he was going to try to have his cake and eat it too again. But it was a very interesting conversation. The “girlfriend” that now exists never came up, just mistakes he's made regarding me and how he feels about me and how HE feels those feelings will “never change” (I begged to differ). He was like, “CC, I will be in the audience at your wedding, still loving you.” I was pretty speechless. Then he joked that he promises he won’t object to the union. LOL
He said he keeps up with my life via Twitter (haha) and there isn’t one night he goes to bed without reading my timeline. He also said that his life is “different” without me in it. He didn’t really elaborate on that, but for some reason, it gave me some satisfaction. I mean we were close friends for 6 years, never went very long without speaking, even during my long relationship. So it was sad that we ended like that, but I guess because it wasn’t my fault, I was easily able to push him out of my mind and heart. Good to know it wasn’t easy for him.
What he and I had, especially last year when I really became vulnerable to him, is gone. I don’t even feel the same anymore, BUT I’m glad he called me and that I talked to him because I can say that I now have peace with that situation. I admit I was a bit bitter towards him, but now I can just accept him for the flawed human being that he naturally is, without necessarily holding it against him. I’ve learned that I will never accept or ignore my man “cheating” like a lot of women do, NOR would I EVER accept being the “other woman.” So at least I have to thank him for confirming my strength in that way.
Sometimes those who hurt us can contribute the most to our personal growth…I’m keeping hope alive, I STILL believe in LOVE!
