He Who Is Worthy

Life is crazy, isn't it? One minute you think you know where you're going and what you're doing and then something happens to throw your "plans" off track. In no other human experience is this more true than in love and relationships...

I started out the cusp of 2010 in Atlanta, happy and intrigued with a man I met and was looking forward to getting to know better and better. I was actually really upset that I was leaving him and the insane bond we were developing. We both were. But I made a commitment to my career, so I was whisked away to New York City for a new opportunity, a new life experience and, surprisingly, I was more single than I'd been in years.

Coming to The Big Apple as a young, professional, single, mid-twenties woman was very exciting to say the least. I was truly an adult now - my own money, my very own place for the first time in my life (no roommate) and no real baggage or attachments to speak of. I embarked on everything "New York City" - Broadway plays, Alvin Ailey Company Ballets, ferry rides on the Hudson, amazingly titillating and trendy restaurants, museums, open mics, sexy lounges, boisterous nightlife and way too many people that I didn't know last year. *ahem* Way too many men that I didn't know last year.

Which brings me to the reason for this post. I could very well write a book on my dating experiences in New York in the last six months. After being with the same person for 5 years and being emotionally cautious (ok I'll admit it - emotionally defunct) in my recovery from that relationship, I think I subconsciously decided it was time to explore. And that I did.

From the old friend who became the new lover, to trying to hold together a very long distance bond nearly to the point of impossibility, to acting on my attractions over my intuition, to getting caught up in a crazy unexpected love triangle of sorts - I think it's safe to say that I managed to catch up on all that I'd been "missing" when I was in a committed relationship all those years. And you know what that was? Not a damned thing.

I am the type of woman who should be with one man. Sex and the City life is not for me. I know that about myself. That's why I stick it out through hard times when I am in love with someone. I am devoted and loyal, committed by nature and faithful by choice....and I have a hunch that many women are like this as well.

The whirlwind that has been my dating and love life this year has shown me that this "one man" selection process AIN'T. NO. JOKE. There are things I will never compromise, never accept, never "just deal" with (and I had to actually scold myself for some of the things I've allowed as of late). But a very wise someone, thankfully, reminded me who I was, what I stand for and who God destined Me to be. So while I have no regrets about the new names in my diary this year, the lessons are aplenty.

Three things I have learned about myself in 2010 so far?

1. I absolutely love London and may very well have been British in another lifetime;

2. I have an affinity for the acoustic guitar and don't really know a reason why I haven't made it a part of my music after all these years; and

3. I'm happy to remain single for as long as I have to be, if it means I won't be settling.

I'm a Free Spirit who demands the Best just as much as I demand myself to give my own Best to he who is worthy. Because I've glimpsed it, felt it, breathed it, touched it, tasted it, LIVED it....I am forever (gratefully) marred.